HOW I STOPPED COMPARING MYSELF TO OTHERS!
I have spent too many hours comparing myself to others in my life.
I'm pretty sure I spent most of my twenties, comparing myself to my friends & my siblings. I’d wonder why, I couldn’t find a boyfriend, when my besties & my brother, were already married and were starting to have children of their own. My sister too had met her soul mate and they’d been together for 7-8 yrs already. Some of them were buying houses and apartments to live in, and I was still renting, using my credit card to fund my lifestyle. I loved my friends & family very much, and still do, but, I would spend a lot of time, comparing my situation to theirs, a lot! I wanted the happiness, I believed, they had, looking into their lives through the pair of rose coloured glasses that were permanently fixed to my face at the time.
What I failed to see at the time, was that, I was unable to appreciate the fact that I was living my dream; I was playing elite level sport for most of my teen years and half of my twenties, which required me to pour everything, into this one area of my life. Soccer was my “boyfriend” so to speak and even if I had an actual real life boyfriend, there was no way I would have been able to give him and our relationship, the love and attention it deserved, because of all the time I spent training and competing.
I was following my own path in life, yet, I didn’t fully realize this, and hence, missed out on FULLY enjoying a lot of amazing stuff in my twenties. I was spending most of my time tuning into other people's lives, instead of tuning into my own.
I was spending so much time watching everybody else’s dreams become a reality, completely missing the point, that my own life was unfolding in it’s own amazing way, and I just couldn’t see how blessed I was. Playing elite level sport gave me opportunities that many people never experience in their lives and I was choosing to focus on what was lacking in my life, instead of the abundance that already existed.
It took me a minute, to figure this out and BOY am I glad I did.
Spending time comparing ourselves to others will ultimately -
Have a detrimental impact on our relationships
Take our focus away from the abundance in our lives which exists right NOW
Lower our self esteem
Keep us stuck in a story we’ve created in our own mind
Rob us from getting to know ourselves intimately, the way we deserve too
Rob us from connecting with others authentically and genuinely
Enjoy the fabulous life we are here to live
I decided to take off my rose coloured glasses, look at life very differently and when I did, my happiness returned with it. I loved my friends and family and deep down, I knew I was happy that they had created this success in their own lives - I made a conscious choice to stop playing victim in my own life.
Guess what else happened?
I started to attract into my life, the exact experiences I had been searching for throughout my entire twenties. I met my husband Charles when I was 28, not long after, I stopped having the pity party in my head and my life, went to another level. We shared a love of sport, travel, food and adventure and these are interests we still share together today. We have travelled to South Africa, to watch a FIFA World Cup together, we are learning to ski together & we have introduced our love of travel, to our gorgeous daughters, taking them on many European, Mauritian & Asian adventures already. Charles also helped me to understand that living in credit, wasn’t a good thing - OOPS - He showed me how to step into prosperity in an area of my life, I had little understanding about! He had already purchased his own small apartment by the time we met, for which I’m eternally grateful. This small apartment and our combined work ethic, enabled us to build the amazing life we have together today, almost 20yrs later. All these years, I thought I was behind the eight ball in my life, watching everybody else move ahead in my life, when all I needed to do was keep head down and stay on my own path.
One of things I am very proud of, is that comparing myself to others, is something I devote very little time to these days. I’ve got too many amazing experiences I want to create with my family these days. If I do recognize a little envy, creeping in, which is rare for me these days, but can catch me unaware from time to time; I gently remind myself to tune into my own life, my own amazing life, with my soul mate, my two amazing girls, our beautiful extended family and friends, the magical memories we are co-creating together at home, in our businesses and the amazing experiences we've already have and will continue to have exploring the world we live in.